These are my least favorite, and in some cases, most hated, movies from every consecutive year since my birth. In some years this is a tie. If you know my personality, you will know that these are most of the stinkers I enjoy talking about and belittling when someone brings one of these up in conversation.
I was inspired by James Rolfe to write my first ever blog. Here we go:
1980 - Superman 2 - Not a terrible movie but overall it is subpar and has not aged well. Gene Hackman manages to salvage this movie with some brilliance playing the part as the villain.
1981 - For Your Eyes Only - To be honest this movie is not bad compared to some of the shit stained ones below, but when Roger Moore is James Bond, one can only shudder.
1982 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch - A slasher movie without a slasher. Where is Michael Myers?
1983 - Superman 3 - Richard Pryor...ugh.
1984 - 1984. The book is brilliant. The movie twists the plot and even though it has a couple of moments, the director misses or cuts out a lot of the most important aspects of the story by George Orwell. The ending of the movie is a farse and incredibly disappointing. Do not see this movie.
1985 - Teenwolf - Typical 80's high school movie gone bad. Again this is one of the better movies compared to most on this list, but this so-called comedy has too many of those 'forced to laugh moments'. What I mean by those moments is when there is when a director creates an obvious pause in the dialogue/action which is intended for people in the theatre to laugh. Similar to a lot of 80's and 90's sit-coms where fake audience laughter is generated at the more entertaining moments.
1986 - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Double dumbass on you! For seeing this movie! This is the worst of the original Star Trek movies by quite a fair margin. I could literally write an essay arguing as to why but suffice to say it was obviously lower budget than the rest, combined with a cheap, flawed time travel plot, combined with a gimmicky save the whales concept. When I first saw this movie as a child somewhere between the ages of 7 and 9 even then I knew it was bad.
Karate Kid Part II is a close runner up. At least the villains make it entertaining.
1987 - Masters of the Universe - This one is bad folks; so bad in fact it makes my blood boil. The first real rotten egg of my list for multiple reasons: No plot, terrible acting, no good action scenes, the ludicrous high schooler angle in a movie about HE-MAN, and that fucking awful scene outside the KFC which must go down as one of the worst ever scenes shot in the history of film. The special effects for 1987 are decent which is by no means a redeeming quality, but at least it has something, so put a layer of tasty icing on this dog shit layered cake of a movie.
Superman IV - This movie is pretty terrible too and probably the reason why there wasn't another Superman movie made for 20 years.
1988 - Ricky 1 - This abominable movie deserves to be in a category of its own. Thankfully it is a relatively unknown, extremely low budget movie and boy oh boy is it the epitome of bad. It reminds me of that series of crappy comedies Scary Movie 1-4 and Epic Movie, except there is not a single funny line. Sexist, racist, vulgar, and plain stupid. The movie constantly makes fun of itself and could belong on a special episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Actually no, I take that back: MST3000 does not deserve to soil its own reputation by showing this. Curse you James Rolfe for making me watch this.
1989 - Little Monsters - Not a whole lot to say about this one other than it stinks. Kids movie with Fred Savage at his worst. At least the plot is original, and you probably won't fall asleep during this movie because of the loud noises and screaming.
1990 - Rocky V - Easily the worst in the series and even Sylvester Stallone admits this movie is pretty bad. The fight scene at the end makes up for most of the crap in this movie, and for over 16 years a lot of people felt this movie ruined the magic of some of the first ones.
1991 - Suburban Commando - Hulkster how could you. Not even Christopher Lloyd redeems this film in the slightest.
1992 - Braindead - Horror/slasher gone really bad, but it does have a couple of those moments where it feels so bad that it makes you laugh out loud. One of the more gory movies you'll ever see. The same guy who made this also directed Lord of the Rings which is pretty hard to believe.
1993 - Super Mario Bros. - Absolutely rips off the classic Nintendo game and rips it to shreds. One of the first in a line of video games turned into movies that only disappoint. Only see this movie if you want to put a bad taste in your mouth for all video games.
TMNT 3 - The worst of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies by far, and lets face it, the second one was not good. Any bad guys from the cartoon series? Nope. Funny? Nope. Watered down? Yep. Ultra cheesy? Yep. Action scenes? Less than the rest. Total bummer dude.
1994 - Street Fighter - No goddammit! Upon seeing this movie in theatre it was my moment of realization that writers, producers, and directors have the power to completely ruin my fond memories of games-turned-movies. They tarnished the reputation of one of the best video games of all time, and they managed to do it with a decent martial arts actor in Jean Claude Van Damme. What is rather amusing is there was actually a fighting video game created that was based on this movie!
Junior - The Governator does have some pretty bad movies. Without doubt this is his worst.
1995 - Cutthroat Island - Look at these numbers - Movie budget $115 million. Gross revenue $10 million. Ouch.
1996 - Barb Wire - There is only one reason to see this movie: Pamela Anderson's hot body in skimpy clothing. But you might as well rent a porno instead.
1997 - Batman and Robin - Unquestionably this is the worst batman movie, and I laugh out loud when people say it is one of their favorites. Typical corporate Hollywood nonsense. The credit card endorsement scene - come the fuck on. Arnold and Uma cannot drag this movie out of the pit it landed itself in. Oh one more thing. FREEZE ICY COOL FROST FROZEN COLD ICE CHILL OUT.
1998 - Species 2 - On the short list of movies where I have walked out of the theatre.
1999 - Cruel Intentions - A movie that tries to be clever but ends up falling flat on its face. Uses one of the best songs of all time, "Bitter Sweet Symphony" to elevate its melodramatic and boring status. To be fair there is a lot worse on this list.
2000 - Meet the Parents - The movie where I finally realized Ben Stiller is an awful, inordinately overpaid actor. This is one of the more controversial titles on my list mainly because so many idiots enjoy this crap. Fans of this movie or of Ben Stinkler can lick my gonads. Also can we just PLEASE STOP making sequels of this garbo!
2001 - Zoolander - Guess who wrote, produced, starred and directed this one. Yep. BS all over this one.
2002 - Spiderman - So much hype, so much build up for such bad acting, disappointing villains, and pure cheesy crap. This is also one of the first movies I recall seeing where every single action scene is not only CGI but also in the preview(s).
2003 - Matrix Revolutions - High expectations. So many options. Worst possible outcome. I've unfortunately seen this film twice because a few years after seeing it for the first time I convinced myself it can't have been that bad. It was.
2004 - Blade Trinity - I'll steal a quote from a friend on this one, "This movie sucked so much shit that toilet paper has been deemed unnecessary."
2005 - Aeon Flux - Total garbage that makes Tomb Raider look like it should have won Best Picture at the Academy Awards. What a disgrace to the cartoon mini-series.
2006 - Silent Hill - A lot of people will disagree with this one, but I could give a rat's arse. Cheap with even cheaper acting, It's typical video game turned movie that plain sucks.
Superman Returns - The greatest of all comic books that is doomed to be portrayed by bad movies.
2007 - Black Snake Moan - This movie is so bad that I even invented my own word for it. Terribad.
2008 - Tropic Thunder, Rocknrolla, The Spirit. I shudder at the thought of these movies. Impossible to pick one for how bad each of these is individually.
2009 - Funny People - Walked out of this movie in theatre and it has to be one of my bottom five. Adam Sandler you were funny in the 90's so wtf happened?
The Haunting in Connecticut - The worst horror flick I have ever seen deserves a mention in 2009 also. The plot was completely lost within minutes, and it can't even seem to get the scary scenes done correctly. Not scary, not funny, not even interesting. I almost fell asleep.
2010 - Jonah Hex - Subpar even for garbage. Lots of action in this one but very poorly executed. Not even Megan Fox's hot body can make up for this once admired comic book. The best way to summarize this movie is as follows, "At least it's relatively short."
